“Pate, can you please add this to your blog? I’ve been dealing with this for a while and I don’t know what to do. I’d like to see if anyone would comment and give some advice. I want to be anonymous.”
I work in the retail business and have been for a few years. A friend of mine asked me to help get her a job where I work. Immediately I knew this was the best thing ever because I didn’t have any friends at work. I love my time with her and I don’t see her as much as I used to. She eventually was hired. We don’t work every shift together but we talked more because of catching up and talked about some things work related as she was being hired. Now, she’s been here for a while and she’s not the person I thought she was. I regret helping her get hired. Our relationship has become awkward, or at least awkward for me, because no one at work likes her and to be honest it’s because she’s not a good employee or a good coworker. I’ve started to not like who she is.
Im curious if there’s any way I can talk to her and say “you’re embarrassing me because I helped you get a job here and I don’t like who you are once I’ve been around you so much” without being mean. Or do I not say anything? I’m not her boss, but I helped her get a job and we were friends just a short while ago.
I will look and see in the comments to see if anyone answers on what they would do.
Being a Christian in some countries will get you imprisoned, tortured, beaten and even beheaded. Yes, beheaded. Like, cut your head off because you are a Christian. People all around the world hide their religion and worship in secret because they are scared of the consequences. Life in America is completely different. Being Christian in American means you’re safe from all of those things and you don’t have to hide your religious practices. That alone is enough to be thankful for. I shouldn’t even write anymore because that is enough to be thankful for. We are safe from those terrible things that happen in other countries. You won’t be thrown in jail for your religion.
I can, however, tell you what you are not safe from. You’re not safe from other Americans judging you or throwing your religion around when they feel like taking a jab at you.
When you openly talk about going to church and being Christian, you open yourself up to some ridiculous comments from others who want to use religion as a way to shame you, twist words, pressure you to do things, and try and make you feel bad for not giving them what they’re asking for. “You’re some kind of Christian, aren’t you?!?” It spews from mouths without hesitation at any available opportunity when the one speaking feels like they can put you down for not doing something they’d like. I do some volunteer work and you’d be surprised at some things I’ve been told there and even outside of there.
Can you pay my light bill? No? I thought you were Christian. Can I borrow $1,000 until payday? No? Wow. Some Christian you are. Will you take this lopsided trade that only benefits me? You can’t because it’s not fair? I thought you were a Christian, but I guess not.
By now, you’ve either said these words or had these words said to you. But why? Do people think that’s really going to work in their favor? Yes, I can help you, maybe not in the capacity that you’d wanted. One things for sure, after a comment like that is made, I’m glad I didn’t waste my time helping someone like that.
It doesn’t happen often but it happens. I’ve watch it happen to others too so I know I’m not alone. By all means, take a jab at me to make yourself feel better because you didn’t get everything you wanted. Just don’t cut off my head.
It never fails, anytime someone is doing good for themselves, there’s people on the outside trying to tear them down. We all know those people. When someone is successful, or becoming successful, there’s always people that immediately oppose them. Success to one person may not be success to another. Our ideas on what a successful life is may not be the same. I think though, we can all relate when we see someone doing good for themselves, other people try to take away some of that good with words or negative actions. Why is that? Jealousy? Do people dislike themselves so much that they can’t ever be happy? Even if that means being happy with other people? I think it’s a combination of those and more. People will always be jealous of others. That just fact. A little jealousy is OK. Instead of being overly jealous, you can take that jealousy and use it to motivate you to do better in your life. Did your friend buy a new house? Are you jealous because it’s nice, big, has everything you wanted and has a pool? But then you talk about them behind their backs to others and say “How can they afford that? Where are they getting their money from? They must be living off of Mom and Dad.”
Use that jealousy to motivate you to buy a new house for yourself. Get things in order for you to do so. If it’s credit, repair your credit. If it’s financial, get a better job, go back to school, try to promote at the job you have, get a part time job. Do whatever it is that would give you the opportunity to buy the house that you want!
That’s a lot of work though. So let me tell you why people immediately find any reason to talk bad about someone or find something wrong with someone who’s becoming successful. It’s because finding any reason to talk bad about someone who’s doing better for themselves is EASIER than putting in the hard work and doing better for yourself! Instead of talking about them and finding any reason to spread rumors or be negative about their success, maybe we should be picking their brain for information and asking ourselves what can I do to be more successful? There’s nothing wrong with contacting someone and saying “I’ve seen you’ve been doing great, I’m trying to get there too. Do you have any help or advice for me?” I’ve done it. Still do it. Will do it again too.
Imagine if when climbing the ladder of success you had support pushing you up the ladder instead of people trying to knock you off. Until then, surround yourself with successful people, and try to ignore the rest.
I hadn’t planned on writing about this until I read more about this event this morning. I wake up at the latest around 6:30am daily. By now if I haven’t learned how to sleep in, it’s just never going to happen. I, like most of the population, reach for my phone shortly after I wake up. Everyone else in the house learned how to sleep in, so I read the news, watch sports highlights, then scroll through Facebook quietly. I was reading an article about an incident that took place on March 19, 2018 in Tempe, Arizona. A 49 year old woman, “Elle”, was killed walking across the street when she was hit by a self driving Uber car. Uber is a very popular company everywhere but in Alabama. Governor Ivy did pass some legislation earlier allowing Uber and other companies to move in to Alabama.
To quickly sum up Uber, it’s a taxi service where you can use an app to request a ride and someone local will pick you up in their car to take you. You pay through the app, rate the driver, and use Uber again when needed. Basically anyone could make extra money by being a taxi driver. Around here we rarely see a taxi, maybe some here and there in Gulf Shores and Orange Beach. Back to Arizona. I had already seen this on the news that an Uber self driving car had hit someone crossing the street going 40 mph and that the self driving car program had been suspended in the United States. What I read new today that shocked me caused me to write this. 49 year old Elle was homeless. Elle was walking her bike across the street when she was hit by the self driving Uber car. The article says that Elle was on the right track to getting her life back together and getting off the streets and that she had been dealing with family and financial troubles that led her to be homeless. What I read next angered me. “Uber has settled out of court with Elle’s daughter and her husband for millions of dollars.”
What? You mean the daughter of Elle and her husband have been awarded millions of dollars after her mother who she allowed to be homeless was hit by a car? After her mother who was dealing with “family and financial struggles” was homeless and living on the street the daughter and son-in-law go after Uber for millions of dollars! Wow. I couldn’t imagine my mother being homeless. I would like to think my mother would never be homeless because of lot of bad things would have to happen to her to reach that point but even if all those things happened, my mother would live with me before she was homeless. Elle’s daughter doesn’t feel the same way. Elle was allowed to be homeless and was killed crossing the street and now the daughter who never fixed the family problems and who allowed the mother to be homeless will soon be a millionaire. Two wrongs don’t make a right. When you set your priorities in life, and most people put family toward the top, you act accordingly to take care of your priorities. You either fix your family problem, take your mother in when she’s facing homelessness, or move out on the street with her to protect her. You do not let a family member become homeless. If your family is not your priority, you don’t collect millions of dollars after an incident to your family member. It’s that simple. Lesson learned today. Don’t be Elle’s daughter.
This isn’t my first blog, but it’s my first blog on my own website. A few months ago I figured I’d better lock down patecardwell.com before either A) someone else named Pate Cardwell got the domain name or B) someone bought the site name before I could then wanted to charge me an outrageous price to buy it from them. People have been known to buy domain names of either famous people’s names, or company names, then when said person or company goes to buy a website, that site name is taken. The owner of the site jacks up the price and sells it to that person or business. The most recognizable case is a from a guy, Mike Mann, who actually bought over 14,000 domain names in a 24 hour period and then sold them all for more as people wanted to buy those names.
That’s what I see this site being about. Not domain names or buying and selling. People. People I’ve met and maybe even people I’ve never met and only read about. People I’ve learned from. Good people, bad people. It doesn’t matter.
I’m going to ask others to help contribute blogs to this page as well. We’ll see how it goes.
I’ll post something soon. Thanks for the support.